


Cat Crash

by silurica



Series: Look to Love, Always [5]
Category: Fallen London | Echo Bazaar
Genre: Comedy, Decapitation, Gen, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Seeking Mr Eaten's Name (Fallen London), consider yourself warned, not actually a Seeking story but there's late Seeking spoilers here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silurica/pseuds/silurica
Summary: A particular St Gawain devotee gives in to their fondness of cats. Chaos ensues.
Series: Look to Love, Always [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068755
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Cat Crash

Do you ever have your pet sleep on you, and when you need to move you don’t have the heart to move them away? That is exactly the situation I’m in now; five cats are sleeping on me. It was just little Soot at first, who claimed the air was colder than usual. Then an older tabby climbed up too. Then another one. Then another. Then yet another.

I’m stuck now. I can move just fine, _but look at how adorable those sleeping faces are._ Of course I can only see Soot and the tabby in this position, but I’m willing to wager the others look just as adorable right now.

Ah, but this is a pain. If I stay still and let my mind wander off, I will start seeing nightmares again, or the lady of inks will start speaking to press the matter regarding NORTH. I would rather not think about that now, especially not when there are these adorable balls of fur on me.

I need something to read. It’s not the healthiest position to do that, but who cares, I’m literally a candle. Where is the book I was reading? Oh, right, the drawer. …d__n. I can feel the book on the tip of my finger, but can. I. Get. It? No dice. It turns out trying to reach for something on your drawer without disturbing the cats is harder than it looks. Maybe I just need to stretch a little bit mo—WHAT, NO, NO, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It’s dark. I can’t see. Wait, my sight is returning. Everything is upside down. Everything is upside down. The tabby must have knocked my head off when she tossed and turned in her sleep while I was in an awkward position. I can’t see her now, but I can see the other cats now. _Adorable_ , as expected. No, Leonard, that should be the least of your concern now. How can I get this head back up there? The cats are still sleeping on my body. _Look at how cute they are._

Oh, Soot woke up. She is grooming herself now. She is scratching her ear. More licking. Oh, she spotted me with her big green eyes. She just got off from my body, from the bed. She is coming this way on her tiny fee—wait a minute. Oh. _Oh._

“Soot. Soot, please no.” But she didn’t listen. She jumped right on my face and we rolled on the floor. Her claws and teeth tickle, which would’ve been a good thing in any other situation than this. “Soot, no, you will leave marks. Soot, please n—aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

It was dark again for a moment, and when my sight returned it’s still dim around; Soot kicked me off into under the desk. If there is one good thing about this, it’s how everything isn’t upside down anymore. Here she comes once more. Once again I begged for her to let me go, but of course she didn’t listen. _Kitten._

This time she knocked me back to the open. I can see my body again. The cats are awake and busy grooming themselves. I must have been loud, I’m so sorry. They are still lying down on my body, though. Wait, actually, is one of them biting on the wick coming from my neck? Oh dear, I think she is. And Soot jumped on me again. Lord, if you really exist, please make sure these cats won’t leave anything permanent on me.

There were knocks followed by a question, “Leo? Leo, are you okay? I can hear noises….”

Oh no, it’s the madam. The worst possible person has come. This is awkward, terrible. What would she say if she saw me like this? Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. I need to make her leave. “No need to worry, ma’am. I’m fine. Everything is in con—” Once again, I had to swallow my words and let them scatter on the floor as Soot kicked me off to one of the legs of the bed.

“Are you sure? Do you mind if I come in?”

“No! I mean, don’t!”

The door clicks open.

“I said, don’t!”

Too late. She scans the room; looking at Soot attempting to maul my head on the floor, my body covered in cats, and my hand awkwardly reaching the drawer. She takes a step back and is about to close the door again when Soot kicks me once again and I bump on her shoes. I must look terrible right now. She is laughing, isn’t she? She picked up my head and yes, she’s laughing. There is nothing I want more than drowning myself in irrigo now.

“Silly candle,” she says. She then shooed the cats off. Evil raven woman. But, well, I can move freely again now. Before I can say anything, she leaves while saying, “I’ll forget about this. I’m old, after all.” Oh, how considerate of her, but regardless, she better does.

And there is Soot at the door again. I give her an unapproving look for once, now my head is back on its place. She comes rubbing on my legs and purring. That’s… oh no… that’s adorable…. How am I supposed to stay mad at this? How? I simply cannot fathom.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted untitled.
> 
> This was completely self-indulgent, and never would I consider it among my best. Also I noticed I tend to fall back to first-person pronoun when attempting comedy.


End file.
